“He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.” - Proverbs 13: 24
To spank or not to spank? This is a very controversial topic. I’ve been thinking about it since the day Princess was born. Do I want to cane my kids or strictly no cane allowed in the house? Speaking from experience, I’m against caning initially. Why? I got caned madly when I was a kid (not often but good enough for me to remember for life). I see the negatives more than good. I was caned in anger to the point that I felt I was being caned for the adults to release their frustrations instead of my wrong-doing. As I grow older, I don’t even shed a tear when I was caned. You can never imagine the resentment & rebellious feelings in me. I tell myself that this is not how I will treat my children in future. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents. They are good people. It’s just that at the point of time, I was angry with them. Also, the kind of parents we turned out to be in future - we either mirror imaged our parents or do the exact opposites.
Eventually, I got married and have children. Wanting to be a good parent, I went through tons and tons of parenting books. I came to realise that the only 1 book I need is my bible. I’m not the perfect parent and never will be but I hope I’ll be a just & loving one. God is forever faithful! “Seek and you shall find”, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” and these are good quotes from the good old book. When I look upon Him for help, I will always get an answer.
Come back to the topic, if you ask me if I cane my kids, the answer is yes. If use correctly, the cane is a very powerful parenting tool. I have a few rules when I use the cane. They are :-
1. Always give warning before caning.
2. Never cane in an insane manner.
3. Only cane areas like buttocks & thighs.
I also make an effort to talk to the kids about why they got caned and what they can do to avoid being caned.
Lastly, the first sentence on this page is dedicated to all parents. For the kids, this is for you :-
“A wise son heeds his father’s instruction. But a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.” - Proverbs 13:1
p.s. Without my "上方寶劍", I wonder if my kids will go wild......hmmm.....